Written by Jeremy Vaughan, a Kelowna based clinical counsellor who recognizes the importance and power that comes from showing up for yourself and that means showing up for the body you inhabit. Jeremy has his undergrad in Human Kinetics Exercise Science before getting into the counselling space, which has given him great insight into the mind-body connection and how important it is that we move our bodies for our overall wellbeing.
When we talk about men’s clinical counselling or men’s therapy, we often focus on talk, on the story, on the emotional wounds. That’s vital—and we do that. But what too often gets short shrift is the body. The container of our life. The instrument by which we act, respond, resist, reset.
For many men—especially high-achieving men who have come to lean on performance as identity, who wrestle with trauma, low self-esteem, or depression—moving the body becomes not just “exercise” but a crucial modality of healing. In this post I want to explore why physical movement matters deeply for mental and emotional wellbeing, how it creates community and connection, and what you can practically begin to do—especially if you live here in Kelowna. My hope: this piece invites you, as a man, to step into your body as ally, not adversary.
The science: moving your body is medicine for the mind
Let’s ground this in research before we go deeper into meaning.
Neurochemistry, brain structure, mood
When you move—when your heart rate rises, your muscles work, your breath deepens—your body and brain respond. Physical activity:
- Reduces stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline, and stimulates the release of “feel-good” neurochemicals like endorphins and endocannabinoids.
- Improves attention, memory, decision-making, brain function—there are structural and functional brain‐changes associated with regular activity.
- Significantly reduces symptoms of depression and anxiety. For example, a review found exercise to improve mild to moderate depression, with resistance training showing strong results.
Why that matters for men
Men who come into counselling often carry hidden burdens—trauma that sits in the body, self-esteem that hinges on doing, perfectionism that creates paralysis. For these men, adding movement offers an avenue out of the “thinking-only” loop. The body becomes a tangible site for change, creating evidence—not just insight—that change is possible.
The resilience factor
One study found that physical activity contributes to self-efficacy, confidence, resilience—and that social support further amplifies the effect. In other words: when you set a physical goal, show up consistently, push a boundary, you build muscle not only in your limbs but in your psyche. And when you do this alongside other men—or in a community—you gain the latent benefit of belonging and accountability.
Movement and mental health in practice
From “I should” to “I can”
When men are depressed, when they carry trauma, or when they feel low self-worth, the internal narrative often says: I’m broken, I’m behind, I don’t measure up. Exercise shifts the story: I showed up. I moved. I achieved a goal. That shift from passive to active, from “what’s wrong with me?” to “what did I do today?” is profound.
Grit through accomplishing challenging goals
It doesn’t have to be Olympic-level. But when you commit to a training plan, a new route, a heavier lift, you experience small wins. Perhaps you finish a 5 km run, perhaps you increase your squat weight, perhaps you complete 30 minutes of HIIT three times this week. These “dosable-goals” build momentum.
- You learn discipline: showing up even when you don’t feel like it.
- You learn resilience: you rise after the day you skip, you adjust.
- You learn trust in your body: “Hey, I can depend on myself”.
For men whose self-esteem often hinges on performance, this is vital: exercise becomes a feedback loop of competence and confidence.
Physical health anchors emotional health
It’s not just metaphorical. Poor physical health (sedentary lifestyle, cardiovascular disease, metabolic issues) correlates with poor mental health. By moving your body, you strengthen your physical foundation so your emotional healing has less friction. This is especially relevant in male depression, where lethargy, avoidance, sleep disruption and isolation may go hand-in-hand.
Community in the movement space: stronger together
One of the underrated aspects of movement is the communal dimension—and for men seeking counselling, trauma therapy, or simply connection, this is gold.
Why community matters
- Shared experience: you’re not the only guy in Kelowna pushing through resistance, showing up early.
- Accountability: it’s harder to skip when others expect you.
- Identity: you can begin to identify not just as “the guy who has issues” but “the guy who trains, shows up, belongs.”
- Emotional safety: many men inhibit vulnerability—movement communities (lifting groups, runs, sports teams) offer a bridge. You sweat, you grunt, you laugh, you struggle—and that creates a kind of spoken‐or‐unspoken trust.
Local flavor and accessibility
If you are in Kelowna or planning to be, look for men’s oriented fitness groups, boot-camp classes, hiking clubs on the Okanagan trails, Friday morning lifting sessions, weekend long-rides. These aren’t just routines—they become rites of passage. Forms of living into the “I am resilient, I show up” story.
Integrating with counselling
If you are engaged in men’s counselling in Kelowna (or exploring it), movement can be a companion to talk therapy. You show up for the therapy session. You show up for the workout. You link the body and the mind. This deep integration can accelerate healing, improve mood, and anchor the internal work into physical reality.
Tailored for men recovering from trauma and depression
Let’s talk specifically about the ties between trauma, depression, and movement for men.
Trauma lives in the body
Traumatic experiences in men often sit below the radar—stored as tension, adrenal over-drive, numbness, or avoidance through over-control. Physical movement becomes one of the ways to move trauma out of the nervous system. By lifting, running, rowing—you engage the autonomic nervous system, shift out of freeze/fight, rebuild regulation.
Depression can lock you in inertia
Men’s depression is often under-recognized: the societal pressure to “be okay”, “be strong” can mean the man who’s tired, disconnected, isolated, skipping sessions, overworking, under‐resting. We often focus on the emotional side, which is needed—but adding movement means adding energy, clarity, direction. As one study said: “Exercise improves mental health by reducing anxiety, depression and negative mood and by improving self-esteem and cognitive function.”
The male performance paradox
For men who value achievement, movement gives a sanctioned arena to perform—but in a healthy way. You set a physical goal, you execute. You learn that “value” isn’t just in your career, your title, your external measures, but also in your body, your discipline, your health. This begins to shift the internal narrative of worth from “what I do” to “who I am”—a subtle but powerful shift.
Practical roadmap: getting started in Kelowna for men
Alright—let’s bring this home with a roadmap you can use. No fluff. Just clear, actionable steps tailored for men seeking healing, growth, connection.
Step 1: Choose your movement domain
Decide the type of movement you will commit to for at least 8–12 weeks. Options:
- Strength training (gym, free weights)
- Cardiovascular (running, cycling, rowing)
- Sport/team (soccer, basketball, hockey)
- Outdoor adventure (hiking Kelowna trails, mountain biking)
Pick what you will stick with. Enjoyment matters. Because consistency is the core.
Step 2: Set a goal that challenges but is achievable
Examples:
- “I will train 3 times per week for 30 minutes for 12 weeks.”
- “I will hike one longer trail each weekend this month.”
- “I will increase my squat weight by X lbs over 8 weeks.”
Be specific, measurable, time-bound. Then track it.
Step 3: Build community
- Join a gym where other men train.
- Find a training partner.
- Seek an outdoor group in Kelowna (hiking club, running club).
- Post your workout plan to a friend or therapist for accountability.
When you feel the pull to skip: you will hear the name, the group, the expectation—and that helps.
Step 4: Link movement with your mental health work
- After a workout, take 5 minutes to journal: “How did I feel before? During? After?”
- Note the areas of your body: tension, ease, breath.
- In your counselling session or reflections, mention your workout successes or struggles. “I showed up when I didn’t feel like it,” “I felt stuck halfway,” “My mood was better afterward.”
This strengthens the connection between physical effort and emotional/psychological change.
Step 5: Resilience building through variation and challenge
Don’t just do what’s easy. To build grit, you need to stretch. But stay safe—especially if you are dealing with trauma or depression.
- Once you have habit, increase the challenge (longer session, heavier weight, new terrain).
- Accept setbacks: missed sessions, fatigue, low mood happen. The key: get back on track.
Research shows benefits of exercise for depression are best when maintained long-term, not just a one-off.
Step 6: Celebrate and integrate
- After 12 weeks, review what you’ve done: the tangible accomplishments, internal shifts.
- Integrate this into your narrative: I am the kind of man who shows up for himself.
- Connect with your therapist or support the changes you notice: better mood, better sleep, increased energy, improved relationships.
Key take-aways for men considering counselling and movement
- If you are seeking men’s counselling in Kelowna or exploring clinical counselling for men in Kelowna, ask how the therapist integrates body-movement or encourages a holistic approach.
- For male depression or men’s trauma therapy, don’t just focus on talk—your body holds the wound and the pathway to activation.
- Men’s therapy is not just about feelings—it’s about becoming embodied, capable, resilient. Movement is a potent avenue for that.
- Connection matters: your movement practice can become a community, a tribe. That communal dimension reinforces the therapy work.
- The story you tell yourself changes: from “I’m broken” to “I’m getting stronger, I’m showing up, I’m building.” That is transformative.
Final reflection: reclaiming your body, reclaiming your life
You’ve shown up here, reading this, and that’s significant. It means you’re willing to do more than just feel better—you want to live better.
Consider this invitation: For the next 30 days, treat movement not as an after-thought, not as punishment, not as something you “should” do—but as an essential piece of your growth. When you train, you’re not just training your biceps or lungs—you’re training your nervous system, your story, your capacity to lean into challenge, to build, to respond rather than react.
In the journey of counselling, of trauma recovery, of navigating male depression or self-esteem issues, movement becomes a language of agency. A way to say: I am here. I am alive. I will act. I will connect. I will build. I will belong.
And in Kelowna—surrounded by hills, trails, fresh air—there’s fertile ground for this work. The community is out there, the space is open, your body is ready.
If you’re working with a male therapist or exploring men’s therapy, ask: How can I integrate physical movement into the inner work? Because doing so isn’t just extra—it’s essential.
Go move. Build grit. Discover what your body can teach your mind. Your story doesn’t end because you started moving—it begins.
Thanks for reading. If you’d like some suggestions on local men’s movement groups in Kelowna, or how to integrate this into your counselling plan, I’m happy to help.
If you’re interested in working together, reach out to me here.